A family walks into a performers' guild hall. There's a father, mother, brother, sister, little baby, & dog. The father goes to the guildmaster & says, "We're here to audition for a family act."

The guildmaster doesn't usually allow family acts, but he lets them audition. "Go ahead. Show me what ya got."

So the family rolls right into it. The father does a backflip from a standstill, landing behind his daughter. He rips her dress off, leaving her standing there naked before the guildmaster. She smiles sheepishly as her immensely hairy vagina drips excitment & menstrual blood all over the floor. The guildmaster gawks at the hair, because her bush runs from chest to ankles, a forest of hair. If he didn't know better, he'd swear she were half-bokken.

So the father, whistling "Dues for Deserel," slaps her firmly on the behind, & she bends forward, allowing him to penetrate her anus with his engorged penis.

Meanwhile, the mother strips the baby naked & throws it over her shoulder, then grabs her son, spins him around like the start of a swing dance, & begins kissing him in the Galdunic style. He responds with enthusiasm, defecating upon himself as he does so. As they make out, he reaches back & pulls it out of his fine trousers, rubbing it all over himself & his mother.

The dog, eager to join the fun, mounts the naked baby, who wails & cries.

Meanwhile, the father is about to explode. He pulls out, pushes his daughter to the ground, onto her stomach, & lets loose a flood of ejaculate onto her back. He then drops to his ass in the puddle of girl-juice & blood she left there, & she unleashes a bout of flatulence that expends not just noxious gas, but also lubricant & fecal matter, all over the father's face.

The dog hears this & thinks it's time for dinner, so it finishes with the baby & runs to lick the father clean. The daughter, meanwhile, begins scraping her back with her hands as best she can & applying her father's jism to her face, tasting a little as she goes. Before she can finish, though, her shit-covered mother & brother turn to her with fire in their eyes & begin licking her clean. For five whole minutes, everyone but the baby has their tongue on someone--the father returning the dog's favor.

The baby chokes up its lunch & begins asphixiating.

After everyone has licked themselves clean & the baby has stopped breathing, the family proclaims in unison, including the dog, "And now, we re-enact the rise of the Necropolis."

They then pull razors from their anal & vaginal cavities & begin to skin each other, slowly, wailing in agony & becoming deeply aroused. The father, circumcizing the son, decides to take advantage of the situation & stuffs his son's penis with his own. The mother, not to be outdone, circumcizes her daughter & swallows the juicy, bloody clitoris, then begins making out with her daughter, ending by puking the clitoris into her daughter's throat.

The dog, meanwhile, humps the mother's leg.

In a fit of jealousy, the son kicks the dog away & begins penetrating his mother from behind, while the father notices the baby & decides to use it as a condom as he takes his son from behind. The daughter, for her part, humps the dog.

Eventually, as they are all engaged in intense sexual conduct, spiders burst from their eye sockets & cover them in spiderweb plague. They all fall to the ground in agony & ecstacy, rolling in shit, come, & blood, until finally, they just stop convulsing & die, & the dog leaps on top of the stack of bodies with the undead baby beside it in a tophat, & the two take a bow.

The guildmaster stares in horror & awe, & says, "That's a Hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the baby says, "Da awistocwats!"