This is a legend only thieves tell...

In the Age of Miracles on First Shem, a group of thieves gathered in a dark inn common room in the middle of the night on Merukis. They had come from all over the world, from every guild, alliance, nation, and congregation, each to see the mythical thief known as the Loremaster. As the group, perhaps the largest group of the most skilled thieves ever to assemble, gathered around the long table, the Loremaster gestured, and the lamps went out, save a score of candles lit in a series of lamps above each head. They cast shadows down such that no face could be seen.

"So, what's the heist?" one of them asked, a voice too young to be credible in most circumstances. None here scoffed.

The Loremaster unrolled an old map. "We will steal the only thing none of us could steal on our own. We will steal from the Gods themselves, and we will take their Divinity."

The lifters, purloiners, panhandlers, collectors, blacklegs, punishers, gatherers, magsmen, admirers, defalcators, robbers, pickpockets, burglars, treasure hunters, muggers, cowards, culls, todgers, prowlers, shoplifters, larcenists, heisters, accumulators, spies, embezzlers, criminals, friends of the hooks, crooks, bandits, hijackers, filchers, eels, scofflaws, plunderers, inside men, deuces, heavies, professionals, johns, janes, vilifiers, housebreakers, shrikers, culprits, renegades, rogues, maroons, runaways, transients, deceivers, malefactors, felons, fingers, offenders, delinquents, disputants, iconoclasts, fugitives, jailbirds, safecrackers, decoits, card sharpers, deserters, fences, gamblers, manslayers, risk junkies, offenders, hooligans, coiners, legs, wreckers, smashers, cracksmen, picaroons, hoodlums, wiseguys, midnighters, pushers, candymen, bagmen, slingers, wrongdoers, rats, slayers, perpetrators, louses, loafers, punks, ransackers, newspapermen, muscles, spoilers, betrayers, conspirators, shades, wildcats, toms, takers, traducers, muckrakers, triggermen, defamers, goons, libelers, monsters, veils, slanderers, thorns, rumor mongers, bullies, contract killers, shufflers, fishers, cads, drunkards, rum-runners, moonshiners, distillers, fishmongers, corner boys, calumniators, hoppers, peddlers, security specialists, whistlers, getawaymen, traffickers, spiders, sources, executioners, butchers, coins, reeves, fiends, lampmen, mafiosos, liars, hustlers, fast ones, loons, madmen, hellions, snappers, filthmongers, muckdwellers, muckrakers, stiffs, skids, floaters, black sheep, hoboes, hoodwinkers, hornswagglers, bilkers, quislings, snakes, snitches, actors, insurectionaries, performers, meanderers, buskers, phonies, familymen, intruders, earners, truants, dippers, convicts, canaries, tattletales, treasonists, turncoats, pigeons, tossers, wasters, exiles, waifs, hermits, evacuees, escape artists, rolling stones, thimbleriggers, enforcers, preachers, traitors, betrayers, squatters, acquierers, serial killers, rapists, arsonists, sneaks, invaders, intriguers, politicians, brokers, information gatherers, usurpers, idlewilds, jokers, apostates, backstabbers, poormen, bagsnatchers, dawdlers, foragers, rummagers, peregrinaters, pigpens, breakers, bindles, castaways, street people, rivertonians, stumblebums, backers, charlatans, fortune hunters, capturers, hauls, jerks, lugs, fine gentlemen, children of the fingers, cutpurses, infiltrators, roughs, itinerants, ambulants, perambulants, travelers, gypsies, rebels, pariahs, footlooses, rustlers, agitators, scoundrels, weasels, raiders, hookers, silvertongues, swindlers, streetwalkers, straightmen, facemen, roues, ingenues, lotharios, sanguinaries, revolutionaries, rounders, vagabonds, businessmen, viles, cheats, guns, bookies, blackguards, dicers, derelicts, emigres, runagates, guttersnipes, madcaps, torturers, slies, pimps, bounty hunters, prostitutes, molls, players, gamers, gamesters, bums, vagrants, wastrels, libertines, sinistrals, rovers, ramblers, courtesans, boors, bounders, clowns, fools, musicians, charmers, troubadors, minstrels, jongleurs, scourers, sweethearts, doublecrossers, bankers, informers, expatriates, highrollers, ladies of the night, scarlet women, numbers runners, bauds, oddsmakers, tricks, wanderers, fallen women, concubines, masks, whores, speculators, secessionists, swine, heretics, dogs, combers, diggers, fancies, nihilists, rapscallions, amassers, sluts, hepcats, forsaken, sevens, abandoners, louts, stinkers, worms, madams, bigmouths, knives, sugars, harrowers, financiers, opportunists, inquisitors, waywards, transients, strays, rakes, harvesters, lovers, pickers, lost souls, poker players, call girls, scrapers, disectarians, croppers, reapers, skirts, broads, dames, playboys, philanderers, lady-killers, attorneys, finks, manipulators, anglers, beguilers, betters, hypocrites, gleaners, profiteers, floozies, bimbos, doxies, adducers, haywires, drifters, migrants, desitutes, accountants, anarchists, tabloidists, bankers, homo triumliterarums, brutes, strumpets, tarts, saps, gigolos, harlots, third ears, contrabandists, bruisers, knifers, snipers, daggers, kept men, kept women, stoolies, bitches, troublemakers, subverters, hoods, movers, wranglers, wanglers, operators, plotters, finaglers, jockers, exploiters, ruffians, soldiers, brothers, riffraff, sisters, supplicants, loan sharks, filibusters, mendicants, plagiarists, bastards, plungers, shooters, assassins, schemers, shammers, scammers, riggers, lawyers, traipsers, ladies of pleasure, cloaks, obtruders, mistresses, working girls, bombers, mephits, killers, murderers, profligates, talkers, poisoners, casers, easies, rioters, wantons, mercenaries, roughnecks, rowdies, gardeners, lenocinants, smugglers, savages, wagerers, bunko men, terrorists, malcontents, snags, guerillas, dissenters, freedom fighters, soapsters, caitiffs, misfortunates, reprobates, saboteurs, deconstructors, toughs, scalawags, scamps, tramps, shills, drug dealers, miscreants, sociopaths, larrikins, mademen, pilgrims, shams, psychopaths, lawbreakers, ne'er-do-wells, dastards, intimidators, thorns, seditionists, scroungers, bouncers, rubes, lowlifes, good-for-nothings, barmen, speakeasies, creepers, camp followers, frondeurs, heelers, finders, bashers, beggars, abductors, connoisseurs, poachers, mischiefmakers, pranksters, tricksters, wretches, insurgents, mountebanks, charlatans, absconders, chiselers, con artists, keepers, prevaricaters, shifters, shifties, kidnappers, derelicts, counterfeiters, magpies, agents, drug-runners, defrauders, foemen, doubledealers, grifters, imposters, forgers, gougers, slickers, falsifiers, taggers, defacers, chors, despoilers, brigands, desperados, footpads, brigands, highwaymen, ravagers, looters, hoodlums, gay blades, road agents, outlaws, assailants, thugs, runners, depredators, rapparees, marauders, vandals, exorters, adulterers, blackmailers, racketeers, mobsters, gangsters, gang members, badgers, transgressors, clips, kleptos, trespassers, and otherwise unsavory sorts (but distinctly not thieves or reevers--only one of which is accurate) remained silent.

They listened.

The Loremaster continued, "I have acquired the means, the information, the opportunity. All I need are the fingers."

They continued to say nothing.

"It will take all of us," he said.

The Sather spoke up, "Go on..."

---

It took them three months to gather the seals. The Sathers hooked a dozen of them, stealing them from kings, beggars, dragons, and Immortals. The Brotherhood stole five of them, each from the most dangerous of vaults, including the Guardians', the Chrysanthemums', Vesturia's, and the Prophetess of the Webweavers'. A dozen independents and the seven crime families gathered more. The Grinning Men conned a few out, and still more came from the Circle of Tuth. The thieves that pulled off these thefts became legends amongst their own. They captured objects protected by the most powerful figures. Quite impressive was the Businessman, who used his connections and his expertise to obtain a book of Law, and Handsome Carley, an independent, who stole the sun from the sky to hide their work. But the greatest of them, an azure talent named Hank Hazer, stole a drop of baal's essence from the Hells, under the Webweaver's very eyes.

---

Five months later, atop the World Tree, the Sather and a Grinning Man put the final seal in place. The seventy-five tokens they had gathered were in place. The Midnight Canter had snuck into the City of Mists with his forty finest. The Brash One challenged the Gods at their own games, just beyond the Sienna Gates. The Loremaster spoke the words from the book.

He invoked the Law.

And the Arbiter stepped in.

He spoke three words, one from each mouth, and each thief that survived was cursed.

Aalane Crey, the Beggar in the Dirt, was cursed with sores, eternally scarred and forced to live in the gutter.

Demby Roth, the Prevaricator, was cursed with eternal disbelief, forced to lie to be understood.

Gillian Drain, the Aeldian Fence, was cursed with the worst of the hunger, forced to take and take and take and never be sated.

Jedio, the Long Planner, was cursed with eternal uncertainty, forced to plan and plan without rest.

Don Mantide Raggio, the Family Man, was cursed with eternal distrust, forced to constantly find new people.

Pharrahn, the Smoke, was cursed with indistinctiveness, forced to eternally be unsolid.

Sumander Suvash, the Green Fingers, was cursed with stickiness, forced to eternally have them stuck.

Voh Ghehemar, the Bronzeman, was cursed to be mechanical, forced to be an unliving yet living creation, living on lightning.

Yllois, the Hook, was cursed to be a monster, physically, forced to rend and tear those she touched.

Beuran Ledh H'limae, the Gamesmith, was cursed to know the rules, forced always to see every nuance of every interaction.

Conner Cable, the Prankster, was cursed to never be taken seriously, forced always to be mocked.

Fagan the Artful, was cursed to always play out his story, forced to repeat his tale over and over.

Itoaq Nunevuh, the Bold & the Brash, was cursed never to know subtlety, forced always to be seen & gawked at.

Lorim Vane, the Cruel, was cursed to never be sated in his hunger for blood, forced to kill and kill.

Oliver Goes, the Guardian of Mortality, was cursed to hear the prayers of the multitudes, forced to hear their pain.

Raego Myrane, the Psychotic, was cursed to know his own madness, forced to understand his own horrificness.

Uliman Baharashi, the Deaf, was cursed senseless, forced to learn new ways to interact with the world.

Xenegara, the Self-stealer, was cursed to lose identity, forced to seek those of others.

Ajallah Hyreme, the Fisher, was cursed to never pull in a real catch, forced to cast and cast.

Everett Littany, the Businessman, was cursed to slowest time, forced to see every tiny moment go by as if it were eons.

Haglish Yoroya, the Spellthief, was cursed to speak in nothing but magical tongues, forced to damage reality around her.

Khaurdane Vhohokaun, the Tuth, was cursed to constantly fight the world, forced to belligerently rage against all around him.

Nusa Roqe, the Poisoner, was cursed to leprosy, forced to forever tell the world of her malady.

Quule Orim, the Rusting Man, was cursed to ruin metal, forced to be unable to touch most of the world.

Thiely Tracer, the Screamer, was cursed to have no euphony in his voice, forced to repel all with his tongue.

Wart Muiceoil, the Imagetaker, was cursed to unreality, forced to view the world from outside.

Zikory Lower, the Cyan Insurgent, was cursed to never remain the same, forced never to be recognized.

Handsome Carley, the Constellation, was cursed to become stars, forced never to be more than a symbol in the sky.

Hnif Blaejamus, the Mouser, was cursed to be a mouse, forced to live as vermin.

Hundred Hand Hank Hazer, the Greatest, was cursed to be known, forced to be famous as a thief the world over.

K'n'm'k'n, the Loremaster, was cursed to know nothing but his lore, forced forever to rely on others for everything else.

Allowahar Mutarap, the Wind, was cursed to become the element she admired, forced to forever be in the air.

Dakes, the Trapsetter, was cursed to forever be trapped by simple things, forced to let the complicated matters detain him.

Bly, the Thief of Slumber, was cursed never to sleep again, forced to steal the dreams of others to survive

6 others - 40 total